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Caught In A Shitstorm part 4 - SpainXfem!Romano

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"Sorella!"

Eye twitch.

"It's so great to see you; it feels as if I haven't talked to you in forever!"

Fist clench.

"Isn't it so nice of Antonio to invite me over for dinner?"

Muscle spasm.

"Don't you like my new dress? I decided to wear it when Toni told me to come over."

Bitch, get out of here.

Giggle. "Spagna is so sweet."

Is that a dreamy voice I hear?

I am about to have a fucking hernia right now.

"Eh…sorella...you are alright, si?" Feliciana asked in what sounded like a genuine tone. I allowed myself to glance at her, standing in the middle of my room, adorned in a dainty (expensiveasfuckinghell) pink dress that looked like it barely covered her ass.

Her coppery eyes were wide and innocent as she stared at me. Her lips were set in a charming grin, and her head was tilted gently to the side, her long, smooth, curly brown locks spilling over her shoulders elegantly. I can't even begin to describe how out of place she looked, standing in my massive tornado fuck of a room.

Then of course, there was me: sulking like a motherfucker, glaring daggers at the bitch, hair still messy and frizzy, clothes stained with dirt from being outside, the epitome of unattractive. Yet, I didn't give a flying two shits right now. What I cared about was that the fact that this bitch, who happens to be my sister, is about to go on a date with Antonio Carriedo because he's just head over flying rainbow shit farts in love with her. And it sucks ass. You know why boys and girls? Because Lovina Vargas wants that ass as well.

"Eh, dinner should be ready soon, sorella. Shouldn't you dress a little nicer?" Feliciana pressed, that stupid smile still present on her face.

"Nope," I deadpanned.

She blinked at me in surprise. "Why?"

"Because I don't fucking feel like it, that's why!" I snapped back at her, my voice laced with venom. But the little cagna is too much of an idiot to even tell the difference between when I normally talk, and when I insult. According to the albino potato bastard, it's the same thing.

Her eyes widened slightly. "Ve, but sorella, you should show some manners! Spagna is making us dinner, after all."

"He makes fucking food for me all the time."

"At least clean off the dirt," Feliciana mused, her eyes still wide. Oh fuck off, you little pasta-humping whore.

Wow, I'm such a nice, nourishing older sister, si?

"I don't feel like it, dammit! It's not like he cares anyways," I spat back, running my hand through my thick mass of weeds that tries to pass off as "hair."

"But Loviiiiiii….." she whined, pouting slightly. "It's been forever since I've seen you, and I was hoping for a nice dinner tonight…just you, me, and Toni. The least you can do is clean up a bit!"

I stared at Feliciana's wide eyed, puppy-dog stare. Okay, as much as I want to rip her entrails out right now, I just…can't…resist…those…eyes….and…

"Fine! Gesu Cristo, just don't look at me like that!" I snapped, marching toward the bed, wondering if I did actually have anything decent to wear hidden in my huge sacred pile of shit. I growled as I threw item over item over my shoulder. I already knew that Feliciana was staring wide eyed at me, probably having an inner panic attack from how unsanitary I was. Well, she can suck it.

God…did I really wear those pants? What the fuck! Toss.

Why is there a weird stain on this shirt? Toss.

….Another box of condoms? Seriously? Toss.

"V-Ve sorella, all you have to do is wash up a bit if you can't find any clothes," Feliciana remarked.

Fuck you.

I spun around and glared daggers at her. "Don't tell me what to do, dammit!" I screeched at her, feeling my cheeks heat up and my fists clench. Feliciana jumped up in surprise, her eyes wide with shock.

"Lovi, why are you in such a bad mood today?"

Oh…so NOW she notices.

"I'm not!"

"Si, you are! Did something happen that I should know about?" she asked in a honey-sweet voice that would kick Liechtenstein's innocence up the ass.

I didn't say anything. I just grinded my teeth together…like a boss.

….Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm just trying to lighten the mood here!

"Come on, Lovi! You can tell me anything!" she whined. Before I could protest, I felt her arms wrap around my torso from behind. I looked over my shoulder to glare at her, meeting her wide, innocent stare.

"Ack! There's nothing wrong," I pressed, wriggling out of her grasp. I subconsciously wiped my nose and sniffed.

Feliciana stared at me for a few more minutes before shrugging and grinning. "Okay, sorella. Whatever you say. When you're ready to talk about it, I'm here!" She batted her eyelashes and gave a small giggle.

I had to suppress a gag. Seriously…how the fuck am I related to this bitch? Sigh. I guess we can't choose our relatives. At least I don't have Natalia as a sister. You don't understand how sorry I feel for the Russian bastard.

I allowed myself to collapse on my bed…well…on top of the mounds of clothing and whothehellknows whatelse that happened to be splayed all over my bed. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm my bitter jealousy.

I couldn't tell Feliciana how I felt about Antonio. Obviously, there were some major problems with that idea.

First of all, Antonio likes Feliciana. That just sucks hard tits.

Second of all, Feliciana may like Antonio back. I don't want to risk it.

Third of all, Feliciana is an oblivious idiot with a big-ass mouth, and she'll go blabbing out my secret to the world, which would result in my early death from high-blood pressure and complete embarrassment. Oh, and after a few days of mourning over the loss of South Italy, Feliciana would become the only Italy, and Antonio would sweep her off her feet. The two would then go riding off into the sunset, making out on a beautiful white horse that would give Gandalf's Shadowfax a run for its money.

Wow…I really need to stop the Lord of the Rings references. New Zealand would be proud.

So, obviously, you can see the issue.

There was a moment of silence that passed between both Feliciana and I. However, it was broken by the light sound of my sorella clearing her throat nervously.

"Ve…Lovi?" she asked in a tone that suggested anxiousness. I didn't bother to sit up or acknowledge the fact that she had spoken. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, not sure if I wanted her to continue.

"Lovi…are you awake?" she pressed.

"….Si…" I answered through gritted teeth.

"Oh…good. I…um…have something to ask you."

Why did my stomach just sour at those words? Good God, please don't tell that she's going to say what I think she's going to say. It would be fucking torture. Good Lord Jesus Christ, why do you hate me so much?

I grinded my teeth together, not saying a word. Might as well get this over with.

"What?" I choked out.

Feliciana let out a nervous laugh. I could just picture her crossing her hands behind her back, and shuffling her feet as her cheeks flushed. I inwardly scowled at the thought. How sickening.

"Um…you see….sorella, I sort of…like this boy…."

Kill me now.

Just take that gun of yours and shoot me in the head. And if you don't have a gun, call up the Swiss bastard for me, will you?

She didn't need to say who this boy was. I could already tell that it was the dear tomato bastard just with the tone of her voice.

This couldn't just be a coincidence. This was God's work. GOD! WHY? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING HERE? What sort of divine revelation is he bestowing upon me? And why did it have to fucking hurt so damn much?

"…And I should care, why?" I growled, still not moving a muscle.

"Ve…I need you to help me! You and Antonio are really close, and I was just wondering if you could find out whether he liked me or not!"

Si. There it is. Right there. Alright…let's wait for the pain to flood in…yup…uh-huh….OUCH! There it is. I winced as I felt the lump form in my throat. Don't cry Lovi. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

I flipped over on my bed and buried my face in the sheets to hide the sudden flow of tears.

"…The tomato bastard, huh?" I choked out, hoping that the trembling of my voice wasn't too prominent.

"Please don't call him that, Lovi. He raised you; he has been nothing but kind to you," she scolded lightly with one of the most sincere voices that I have ever heard.

Pfft. Cagna.

"I don't give a flying French jizz. I'm calling him whatever the hell I want," I said, my voice slightly muffled by the thick covers.

"…Go downstairs, Feliciana," I almost pleaded, wanting nothing more than to be alone to wallow in my own misery. This was hopeless. Why the hell can this bitch just walk in with a pretty dress and a pretty smile and take everything?

"S-Sorella?" she asked. The tone of her voice suggested that she realized that there was something wrong with me. She's a genius, my sister. "Are you alright?"

I could hear her small footsteps approach the foot of the bed. She prodded my shoulder; I immediately stiffened.

"J-Just leave me alone, Feli. I'm fine. Go downstairs and talk to Antonio for a while, si?"

Fuck. I sounded like a dying dog. Does my voice always sound like that when I cry? That sucks ass.

"No! Lovi, you're not okay! You're crying! Please tell me what's wrong! Is there something happening back in the South that I should know about? I can help you, you know! We're both Italy, si?" she pleaded.

In that single second, I felt my hatred and jealousy for my sister dissipate. I suddenly wondered why I was distasteful of her in the first place. Sure, she may be a shallow ditz with a misplaced brain. But she was still genuine wasn't she? Well…a hell of a lot more genuine than me anyways. Was there ever a time where Feli ever yelled at me out of pure bitterness? I can't recall a time to be honest. Our "fights" consisted of her pleading with me, and me screaming my ass off at her.

"N-No…nothing like that. Just go downstairs, per favore? I'll be fine," I responded, still not removing my face from the bed.

But I knew that she wouldn't budge. She rubbed my back gently in a circular motion and pressed gently, "I can't just leave you here. Can't you please just tell me? Is it a personal problem?"

Si. A pathetic, personal problem that involved heartbreak and bitter jealousy. Wow, for personifying part of a country, I really am pathetic. I mean, I've been through bloody ass wars, economic problems, political drama, and yada yada this and that; yet, here I am, bitching about how a boy doesn't like me back. That's so fucking human of me.

I clenched my teeth.

After a few more minutes of rubbing my back, Feliciana sighed and stopped. "I'm getting Antonio, sorella. Maybe you'll talk to him."





…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I immediately bolted upwards, staring at my sister in wide-eyed panic. I knew that I probably had snot running down my nose, and that my eyes were red and watery, but I didn't give a shit. There is no way I am going to let Feliciana get the tomato bastard involved in this. It would just make everything worse than it already was.

Feliciana stared back at me with wide eyes. She tilted her head to the side innocently. "Lovi?"

"D-Don't…" I started, taking deep breaths. Why couldn't I talk? WHY THE FUCKING HELL COULDN'T I TALK?

"Ve, don't what, Lovi?"

I opened my mouth and shut it, trembling uncontrollably. "A-Antonio….don't…."

What was I trying to say?

Was I really telling her to not fetch him, or was I telling her to…to not hitch with the bastard?

Che Palle! I'm crazy! I'm going crazy!

Feliciana looked at me with panic in her eyes. "Stay right there, sorella. I'll be right back…"

There was urgency in her voice as she opened the door, and slammed it shut behind her, leaving me sitting on my bed, the deafening silence consuming me.

I gulped, the tears still spilling down my cheeks.

Well, shit.

This was going to be fucking embarrassing as hell.

I collapsed back on the bed, covered my head with a pillow, and bit at the sheets that met my lips to suppress a scream of frustration. I felt like I was a child throwing a tantrum, just like in the good ol' days.

I….don't…want…to….talk…to…Antonio….fucking….CARRIEDO!

I knew how this would go. He would come in, all worried and flustered and shit. He would sit on the bed, start petting my head, and ask me what is wrong. I wouldn't tell him, and he'd press the subject with that stupid pout of his, and I would snap and insult him, and he would just smile and tell me that boss Spain can fix everything.

That's how it always went.

But this time, it's different.

Waaaayyyyy different.

I heard the door open before I could process another thought. Aww shit. Here we go.

"Lovi?"

His voice is so damn beauti—ACK!

Mental slap.

I heard his footsteps approach. I clenched my fists and bit my lip, praying that my heart wouldn't jump out of my chest.

I felt the bed shift slightly under his weight as he sat on the edge. I could feel his presence mere inches away from me. I could smell him, feel his warmth…

Don't move, Lovina Vargas.

I heard him sigh. "Que paso, mi tomate?"

His voice was gentle and soothing. The sound of it stopped my shuddering, but it didn't do anything to ease the constant ache in my chest. I didn't trust myself to open my mouth.

So guess what, bitches?

I didn't.

Si. Because I'm epic like that.

"Lovi…" he pleaded gently. I felt his fingertips brush against my spine softly; I stiffened.

D-Dammit… fucking hormones…..

Yet, he didn't seem to notice my body's physical reaction to his touch. He kept stroking my back in a similar fashion that Feli did…but let me tell you something.

It was a totally different experience.

Okay, I'm dramatizing. The tomato bastard had stroked my back millions of times before. But it's not like it ever affected me.

And yet, here I am, clenching my teeth, my face flushing, and my toes curling.

Mio Dio, is this idiota really that fucking oblivious?

Sigh. I think I've already went over this countless times.

"What's wrong, querida? Please tell me; you know you can tell me anything."

I shifted slightly, but didn't open my mouth, nor show him my face. I was so damn distracted by the way he stroked my back. It was like my spine had these sex endocrines that released hormones to make me horny or something.

…. And that didn't make sense at all, did it?

See what he's doing to me? I can't even think straight right now!

Dammit! I don't want another ultra-sensitive erogenous zone! My curl gives me enough trouble. Too bad I never got around to telling Antonio what it actually does. He just knows not to touch it, or he will get his precious, sexy ass invaded by my foot.

"Look, Feliciana is worried about you, and I won't be able to rest knowing that my Lovi is upset," he said. I could hear the pout in his voice. Trust me, friend. It didn't help. At all.

Damn the Spaniard and his pout. Damn him to hell.

Alright Lovina, just calm down and keep your eyes shut and maybe he'll leave-STOP STROKING MY FUCKING BACK! I'm getting sort of horny here! It would be extremely awkward if I had an orgasm right now. Trust me. I would never live it down.

I squeezed the pillow harder, my fingernails aching from the amount of pressure I was putting on them. It didn't help that Antonio had the nerve to bend down, brush his lips over my ear gently, and whisper, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong, mi poco tomate."

His breath washed over my cheek, warm and…and…..

His hand was now playing with my hair, his fingers gently smoothing out the vicious tangles.

Nghhhhh….he's so damn close…..way too close.

"ACCK!" I spat, springing up from the bed, squirming and twirling my body in a way that I'm sure will leave some sort of permanent bruise. I quickly scrambled away from Antonio, grabbing a pillow and squeezing it to my chest while I glared venomously at him, my eyes stinging and my legs curled up toward my chest.

Antonio stared at me in shock, his wide shining green eyes making my stomach flutter. My face was so fucking hot that you could fry eggs on it. And they would be good eggs because they came from my face, you bitch. Don't mock me!

"Lovi…." Antonio started, staring at me, confusion clearly written across his face.

"It's nothing, you damn bastard! Just clear off!" I spat. I'm just so believable aren't I?

He shook his head slowly, the frown still present on his face. "No, Lovina, there's definitely something bothering you, and I'm staying right here until you tell me what it is." He actually had the nerve to toss me an innocent smile following that statement. I seriously hate him. Really. I want to kill him. Or kiss him. Or fuck him. Or any combination of the three.

Damn. I'm kinky as hell.

Okay, so what the hell do I tell him? I can't just tell him the truth. Imagine how that'll go.

Hey, hey Spagna cutie…I'm sooooooo upset because I have this huge crush on you and I really want to have sex with you right now, but I can't because you would rather shove your cock up my sister's pussy. Insert maniac, prissy girl giggle here.

Si. You really want to see how that goes? Well, I don't.

Okay, the bastard is oblivious as fuck. Maybe I can come up with some sort of lie. Maybe I can bullshit something about the economy or something. No, no, that won't work. If there was some sort of economic crisis happening back in Italy, Feliciana would be affected with it and everyone would know about it. I winced. What do I do?

Alright, how about this? What if I grab the ropes and the gun and…what the hell am I saying? Okay, scratch that.

I sighed. Maybe I can just tell him the truth, without telling him everything. As embarrassing as it will be to admit to Antonio that I'm upset about a boy, it will get him off my back. And it's not like I'll tell him who this person is.

"So, are you planning to tell me or not?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips.

Oh, you beautiful bastard.

I turned my head away, squeezing the pillow to my chest. Mio Dio, I already felt as if the temperature in the room had increased dramatically. I gulped. "If I tell y-you, will you get the fuck out of here and leave me alone?"

The Spaniard chuckled slightly in response. "Whatever will make my Lovi happy."

Ooohhhh…damn him.

"Fine. B-But you better not tell anyone about this, got it bastard?" I growled.

Antonio nodded sincerely, never taking his eyes off of me. "Si, si! Of course! I promise I won't tell anybody!"

Alright, good then. Let's get started, shall we? I took a deep breath and said, "This sounds k-kind of pathetic, but I like this….um…."

I started to twitch.

Antonio tilted his head questioningly. "Si, Lovi?"

"B-B-Boy…." I managed to choke out.

There was a ringing silence around the room. I stared at my hands, wondering what the hell the idiota was thinking. After a moment, the silence was broken by Antonio's amused voice.

"Dios Mio! You like a boy? My Lovi rarely ever has crushes; what a surprise this is!"

Instant sulk. Sulk. Sulk. Sulk.

Trust me; you can't help it when your crush sounds amused by the fact that you actually like someone. Before I could open my mouth to retaliate, he was at my side again, rubbing my head gently, a stupid smile plastered on his face.

"Stop touching m—"

"I remember the last person you went on a date with was that pendejo from Portugal. Hopefully the person you like is nothing like him, si?"

Fuck…stop touching my head….

"So, Lovi, who is it?"

I bristled. "Like I'm going to tell you, you damn bastard!"

"Aww…come on! Boss Spain wants to know who this lucky hijo is," he pouted, throwing both of his arms around me. He pressed his cheek against mine, and my heartbeat started to pound against my chest once again.

Dammit…Don't…do …that….fucking….

"No."

"Por favore?"

"No."

"Pleeeassseeee?"

"I said no."

"I told you who I liked, Lovi, and that was hard for me, considering it was your hermana. Come on! It can't be that bad!"

Fuck you.

"Absolutely not."

"But…"

"Ack! It doesn't matter who it is, you fucking idiota, because he doesn't like me back," I spat, squeezing the pillow tighter to my chest, feeling as if molten hot waves of lava were cascading over my whole damn body.

There was another moment of silence as Antonio pulled back to look at me fully. I avoided his green eyed stare by continuing to glare forward, my cheeks flushing violently.

"Is that why you're upset?" he asked tenderly. So tenderly that it broke my heart. My eyes filled with tears as I held my breath, nodding.

Goddammit…how can he be so oblivious? Can't he see what's in front of him? I'm right fucking here, dammit! I'm practically confessing my feelings to him…sort of…

Antonio sighed and reached out a hand to tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear. I had to stop myself from shuddering at the motion. "Lo siento, mi querida. Heartbreak is tough, si? But think about it this way…"

Oh great. Now what does the fucking matador got to say? I'm really not in the mood to hear philosophical words of advice from a tomato-fucking bull-humping sexy-as-hell Spaniard.

"If this boy cannot see how great you are, than he isn't worth it," he stated, stroking my cheek gently. I dared myself to look at him straight in the face as his fingers slipped away. He gave me a reassuring, yet completely oblivious smile.

….I want to kick a kitten. I want to kick it so hard that Greece will physically writhe on the floor in pain as that cat lodges itself up his ass. Hey…we can't deny that he'd find that somewhat arousing.

I quickly looked away and rubbed my nose, sniffing a bit. I glared forward in frustration; he'll never get it will he? He just won't unless I say it straight to his face. And that's not going to happen anytime soon, given the fact that he was about to take my sorella out on a date. The stupid motherfuckers.

"G-Grazie, bastard. You can go now," I huffed halfheartedly. Despite my attempt to stop the tears, they spilled over, trailing down my cheeks.

"L-Lovi…? Are you crying?" he asked, his voice laced with concern once again.

I shook my head, attempting to wipe my tears away. "No, no. I'm fucking fine, dammit! Just go downstairs and take Feliciana on the date."

He didn't move. Not a muscle. He just kept staring at me. Fucking hell! What part of go away does he NOT understand?

"I-I…I'll just take a nap or something. I'm just in a bad mood because I'm tired," I ranted. Bullshit. Pure unadulterated bullshit.

"Roma…" he started, exasperation present in his voice.

"Look…" I pressed in the calmest voice that I could. I even attempted to smile in his direction (though I'm sure it made me look extremely constipated). "I swear that I'm fine, Toni. Just go downstairs and leave me alone for a while. Plus…y-you don't want to keep Feli w-waiting."

Silence passed between us for another moment or two before Antonio let out a small sigh. He got up from the bed and ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Alright, I'll take your word for it this time, mi tomate, but if I see that this is still bothering you in the near future, then I won't let you off the hook, you understand?"

I nodded half-heartedly, images of my sister and Antonio filling my vision, swimming around in a sickeningly hypnotic way. There was nothing I could do about it now.

I looked at him and he smiled…a smile that reflected his excitement. His eyes sparkled and his whole face seemed to light up. As much as it hurt, I had to admit that I couldn't help but let a small smile of my own slip onto my lips at the sight.

"…Hey tomato bastard…if you dare hurt my sorella, I will shove my hand so far up your ass that I will be able to reach your ribs, you hear me?" I pressed weakly as he made his way toward the door.

Antonio looked over his shoulder, throwing me a dazzling smile. "Now there's the same old Lovi that I know and love. You promise that you will never change, si?"

He chuckled slightly before winking at me, and walking out the door. The sound of it closing shut behind him left me in a hazy shock filled with nothing but silence. Numbing silence. But it was brief. Way too brief.

For soon, I found myself clutching the pillow to my chest once again as more tears started to spill from my eyes.

"Vaffanculo, Antonio," I choked out, burying my face in the pillow. "Can't you see how much I fucking love you?"
Part 4 of Caught In A Shitstorm. Things are just getting progressively more painful for Lovi. And trust me, after this chapter...the true shitstorm begins. :'(
© 2012 - 2024 MeridianNightfall
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Arido-Yuna's avatar
This girl... THIS girl... PEOPLE, I HAVE FOUND MY SPIRIT ANIMAL!