Caught In A Shitstorm part 6 - SpainXfem!Romano

Gilbert Beilschmidt was never one to really care about others' relationships. Hell, he never even bothered to bat an eyelash. He would make his sexual comments, tease for a bit, and then just back off. Especially when it came to his two best friends: Francis and Antonio. The trio has had a number of flings throughout their many years of existence before, but each only ever had one, MAYBE two serious relationships.

Except for Gilbert, of course. His heart belonged to Elizaveta, and ONLY Elizaveta. He wasn't COMPLETELY stupid; he knew that hell would freeze over before she would ever yearn for him. But the albino never gave up. He wanted her to realize that he'd been there all along. That even though they were rivals, he could never bring himself to hurt her, that he bandaged her wounds without a word, that he was the first one to realize that she was a girl, that he willingly backed away when she said that her heart belonged to Roderich.

But whatever. The day would come. SOME day.

In the future.

A few couple centuries.

Or millenniums.

Good thing they were technically immortal.

Even though the albino never questioned his best friends' relationships, he couldn't help but do a double take when he heard that Antonio was dating Feliciana Vargas. There wasn't necessarily anything wrong with the couple; hell, they seemed like a pretty damn good match if you looked at it from the surface.

Gilbert can recall that Antonio has only been in ONE serious relationship before, and that was with Bella. He loved her to death. In fact, the Prussian had never seen someone so in love before. It was to the point where Antonio was talking marriage. It all seemed perfect after all; Antonio and Bella living together, the two of them both taking care of Lovina, as if she was their daughter.

Picture perfect family.

But that was a long time ago. Gilbert never really understood why the relationship ended in the first place; he just remembered that things were pretty damn dismal, that he had never seen his Spanish friend so upset, so hurt. To this day, there are still some deep scars remaining between both Antonio and Bella. But for the most part, they're great friends.

But NOW, Antonio was with Feliciana Vargas.

They've been going out for about a month, and things are looking pretty damn serious.

But Gilbert couldn't help but see a few flaws in this whole ordeal. Mind you, this probably was none of his business, and to even put this much thought into such petty matters, such as relationships, was a bit shameful… however, the albino couldn't stop thinking.

He knew that his little brother, Ludwig, was head over heels in love with the Northern Italian girl. He had been for a long time, even if the stoic German didn't want to admit it. And Gilbert, being the overprotective, older brother that he was, didn't like to see how hurt his brother was, no matter how much Ludwig tried to hide it.

Even a nation experiences heartbreak.

Gilbert would know, and he didn't like his brother going through the same thing. He deserved better than that.

Then there was the other thing. The thing that was really of no importance to the Prussian, yet he couldn't help but pick up on it and observe.

After seeing how broken Antonio was after his relationship with Bella ended, Gilbert was almost sure that there would never be another woman. Ever.

That was… until Lovina Vargas went through puberty and then grew up to be the stunning piece of ass that she is today.

Sure, Antonio had always seen her as his henchman, someone he adored so much, cared about so much…even if in a more in a familial way, but she was the only other woman that played a large part in the Spaniard's life. Surely, as time went by… there has to be something more there, right?

Gilbert knew that Antonio would die for the bitchy Southern Italian. He would give up anything for the sake of her safety and happiness. And even if she didn't want to admit it, the albino knew that Lovina would do the same for him.

The Prussian had always assumed that it would be Antonio and Lovina in the end. In fact, he was absolutely sure of it. He believed that they were meant for each other, that they belonged together.

And then…out of the blue, without a single warning, Antonio is in a happy, serious relationship with her sister. It just doesn't seem right. At all. Hell, even Francis received whiplash from the sudden turn of events.

Again, all of this was none of his business. It really wasn't.

However, he was the awesome Prussia.

And the awesome Prussia had to say something.

"Kesesese, nobody in the world has better alcohol tolerance than THE AWESOME PRUSSIA!" Gilbert announced as he slammed two bottles of beer on the table, gesturing for Antonio to take it. The Spaniard wasn't really one to drink German beer, but he figured that he may as well since it was sitting blatantly under his nose.

Chuckling, Antonio opened the bottle and took a healthy swig, grimacing slightly. "I don't know about that, mi amigo, I think that I could beat you at your own game."

Gilbert smirked as he downed half the bottle in one gulp. "I normally would never back down from a challenge, but I don't think West would appreciate me coming home drunk."

"Si, and it's still too early to drink that much; Feli wouldn't be too appreciative of it, and Lovi would probably put all of the furniture in the hallway just to see me trip," Antonio answered with a slight chuckle, his green eyes twinkling as he took another generous gulp.

Gilbert cleared his throat slightly, resting his elbows on the table, subtly raising an eyebrow. "So how are you and Feli? Awesome, I hope?"

The Spaniard nodded vigorously. "Si, si! We are doing great! She is absolutely amazing. In fact, I don't think I've ever been more invested in anyone before."

The albino raised in eyebrow skeptically. "That's a lot, coming from you, mein freund. Is it really that serious?"

"I know that it's only been a month, but with Feliciana… it's different. I always feel so happy when I see her, and I feel like I can never get tired of her," he stated, a bright smile gracing his lips. "But I'm not going to go into those kinds of details with you. Or Francis."

"Is what you have with Feliciana comparable to what you had with Bella?"

Antonio choked slightly on his drink, his cheeks going slightly pink as a subtly pained expression passed over his features. With a grim smile, he said, "Let's not bring her up, si?"

Gilbert smirked slightly. "And why not? It was a long time ago, ja?"

"I would just prefer not to talk about it," Antonio responded with a nervous laugh, looking uneasily at the table.

Alright, so a change in tactics was needed.

The Prussian finished off his bottle and took a deep contented breath, studying his friend. "Why Feliciana Vargas? There are plenty of other beautiful women out there that I'm sure would love to be with you."

*cough* Lovina *cough*

Antonio rose an eyebrow skeptically at his friend. "Que? Are you implying something here? Why would I want another woman when I have Feliciana? She and I are very happy together. I don't want another woman."

Gilbert couldn't help but twitch slightly at his friend's response. Again, he knew that this was none of his business. But why Feliciana? Of all the women, he had to pick the cheery, flamboyant Italian who not only stole the heart of his brother, but happens to be the sister of Lovina Vargas, who, at this point, Gilbert was convinced belonged with Antonio.

Yes, it all seemed ridiculous. After all, the Prussian wasn't one to play matchmaker.

But he was sure that Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and Lovina Vargas were meant to be.

Of course, he'd never admit this out loud to anyone.

He couldn't ruin his awesome reputation by making people believe that he was some relationship-obsessed cupid.

Smirking, Gilbert patted his friend on the back. "Why not have more women in your life, mein freund? It's healthy to have a bit of fun before settling down and committing to a relationship. I'm not sure if you are even ready for this."

Antonio laughed heartily. "The only women I need in my life are Feli and Lovi. I would do absolutely anything for them, and that will never change."

"I see." Another smirk graced Gilbert's lips as he crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair. "Who matters more to you? Feliciana or Lovina?"

"Que? Why would you ask such a question like that? I love them both the same amount, just in different ways," the Spaniard answered, his eyes widening slightly as he stared at Gilbert in slight exasperation.

"Say that both of them were on the brink of death, and you had a choice to save one of them. Who would you choose?" the Prussian pressed, determined to get an answer out of his friend, the smirk on his lips still prevalent.

"Wh…I…well…n-no! That is a ridiculous thing to even think about, mi amigo," Antonio responded, his green eyes large and glittering as he stared at Gilbert incredulously. His fingers were tightening around the bottle, and the Prussian knew that he had thoroughly startled him.

Gilbert stood up, shrugged in a nonchalant manner, and said, "It was just a question. No need for your vaginal walls to spasm."

"Well…er…" the Spaniard looked away uneasily. "I don't like questions like that; so, if you don't mind, would you please not ask them?"

"Alright, mein freund."

The Prussian turned his back and started to walk off, his eyes glinting, his lips tilted up in a smile as he made his way toward the staircase.

"Eh…where are you going?"

"I need to use the restroom; I'll be right back, and we can have another round, ja?" Gilbert said, waving a hand carelessly over his shoulder as he continued to make his way up the stairs.

There was a strange beat of silence before Antonio's voice broke through it.

"Lovi."

"Huh?" Gilbert turned around at the foot of the staircase, looking back at his friend, who was sitting there, his eyes trained on the bottle that he gripped in his hands.

"Your question… to be honest, it would be Lovi. It's just… she's mi poco tomate, and she's always been there for me just as I have been for her, and I love her, and as much as I love Feliciana, nobody could replace mi Lovi."

The way he said it; it honestly startled the albino. Even though his answer was rushed, it was extremely sincere. Truthful. Passionate. Even though Gilbert knew that his Spanish friend cared a lot for his henchman, he underestimated the bond between them.

"I see," he answered with a smirk. "That's enlightening. I'll be right back."

Gilbert turned away from Antonio and continued to make his way up the stairs. In all honesty, the Prussian had no intention whatsoever to go to the bathroom.

Again, this really was none of his business. But well, he was the awesome Prussia. He was allowed to meddle in certain matters. It should be expected, anyways.

Passing by the bathroom, he continued to the room at the end of the hall, his smile widening as he realized that the door was propped open. He had only ever been in this room a few times before; in fact, he was lucky to even step foot in this room once and not have his ass kicked. After all, Lovina Vargas was a very feisty, formidable woman. As far as he was concerned, the girl didn't necessarily like he or his brother. At all.

Ah well; he'd take his chances.

He paused in the doorway, looking at the scene before him. The room definitely wasn't clean. There was shit everywhere; boxes, clothes, other questionable objects… the bed was even worse. In fact, he couldn't even make out the sheets or pillows. He always knew that the Southern Italian wasn't the cleanest person… especially compared to her pristine sister.

On top of the monstrous pile was Lovina Vargas, herself. Her head was propped up by what looked like a pile of clothing. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth was slightly parted, her hands limp at her sides, and her dark brown hair sprawled around her face like a strange halo. Gilbert had to admit that even though Feliciana was far more pleasant to be around, he had always found the Southern Italian to be far more attractive.

In fact, if he wasn't in love with Elizaveta, he probably would've tried to pursue Lovina a long time ago.

He had to play this cautiously; he knew that Lovina wouldn't take his presence to kindly. Especially in her room.

With a sharp sigh, Gilbert made his way forward, carefully approaching the edge of the bed. With another smirk, he carefully reached out and prodded the Italian in the cheek.

Her reaction was immediate. Her limbs started to flail, and with a sharp intake of breath, her hazel eyes shot open, staring straight into his crimson ones with bewilderment. Her face started to crumple into a bitter snarl, but Gilbert immediately shot out a hand, covering her mouth.

"Kesesese, don't freak out. I just want to talk to you," he said quietly, his lips sporting the default, devious smirk.

"MMMMPPHHHHHMMFFHHHHH…" she grumbled against his hand, her eyes narrowed in fury, and her limbs still flailing.

"Now, if I let go of your…OW! Mein Gott! Please don't tell me that you just bit me," he deadpanned in irritation, pulling his hand away and examining it. Yes, that would leave a mark. Especially against his deathly pale skin.

"What the fuck are you doing here, you fucking potato bastard?" Lovina snapped, balling her fists and crouching into a defensive position.

"Shhh…quiet down!"

"Get out."

"Come on now…"

"GET OUT!"

"SHHHH! Shut up! I seriously need to talk to you. We can either do this the easy way, or the hard wa—"

"FUCKING LITTLE ALBINO ASS-LICKER…MMMPH!"

He covered her mouth again, an irritated expression present on his face as his crimson eyes narrowed at the Italian. For extra measure, he used his other hand to pull her hair, forcing her head back a bit. "Now just listen to me. This is about Antonio."

"MMMPHHHHHHHJJH"

"Shhh! Shut it! It's painfully obvious that you are in love with him."

He grinned. Mission accomplished. Her flailing died down, her eyes widening, and her limbs going rather limp as she stared straight into his crimson-colored eyes. With one more look over his shoulder to make sure that Antonio wasn't making his way up the stairs, he continued to talk, lowering his voice considerably.

"Ja. You can't hide your little charade from the awesome Prussia, now can you? Kesesese."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, but he continued nevertheless.

"You see, mein bruder hates this whole matter as much as you do. I think that we all know by now that Ludwig is head over asshole in love with your schwester."

With one warning glare at Lovina, Gilbert slowly let go of her mouth. Thankfully, she didn't start yelling. However, that didn't mean she wasn't giving him the nastiest looks in the history of all nasty looks.

"So? Why the fucking hell should I care about what your dickhead brother feels? It's not like he's good enough for sorella anyways."

"Oh?" The Albino rose an eyebrow. "And Antonio is? Do you want them to be together?"

He could easily spot the blush that started to dust the Italian's tan cheeks as she looked away. "That is none of your fucking concern. Now get the fuck out of my room."

He chuckled slightly as he crossed his arms. "Now, now. Let's play nicely here, hübsche Mädchen. I'm trying to help you out here."

Lovina scoffed, her eyes flashing as she sat up and jabbed a finger at his chest, her lips curled in a snarl. "What the fuck is in it for you? Answer me that, bastardo."

"You see… I am a very protective older brother. I don't particularly enjoy seeing mein bruder as upset as he is over this. He is in love with Feliciana, and so I am determined to get her out of this relationship," he answered with a light shrug, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The Italian stared at him flatly. "So you are willing to break a perfectly happy couple up for your brother? He's a fucking big boy. If he's so in love with her, then why can't he do the fucking dirty work, himself?" She spat slightly. "This is absolutely pathetic."

"Ludwig has too much pride to do anything. He's seen how happy Feliciana looks; he's not the type of man to go out and do shit for himself."

"And you are?"

"Ja. Of course I am."

"Again. Pathetic."

"Hmmm… I don't think so. In fact, I believe you'll be thanking me."

"Why the fuck would I be thanking you?"

Lovina's glare was dangerous, her eyes fixed on the albino, who seemed to be getting closer and closer to her. However, she was too caught up in her rage to fully comprehend his subtle movements.

He smirked. "I really am too awesome to be dealing with this bullshit, but I believe that a few things need to be sorted out. You see, people aren't where they're supposed to be right now, and since everybody is too fucking stubborn and unawesome to fix it, I believe that it's time to take matters into y own hands."

Before the Italian could protest, Gilbert climbed onto the bed, his legs straddling his waist, and both of his hands pinning her wrists down onto the bed. The look on the Italian's face was priceless. Her eyes were wide wish shock, her face was beet red, and her mouth was slightly parted. She looked like she wanted nothing more than to scream a mother-load of profanities at him, but she was rendered speechless. Lovina remained absolutely still, her breathing heavy as she glared silently up at the smirking Prussian.

"W-What the motherfucking—"

"I'm taking care of business."

"What?"

Gilbert felt the presence of someone at the doorway, and with a crooked smile, he leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against Lovina's. She relented with a slight squeak, but was too in shock to protest. Her lips were extremely soft, and to be honest… quite delicious. Gilbert had to admit that the bitch was quite delectable.

Before she could fully respond, he broke the kiss and got off of the bed with a fluid grace that only the awesome Prussia could achieve.

And there, standing in the doorway, was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, his eyes as wide as saucers, his lips pressed tight together, and his fingers clenching the door frame a bit too harshly to be natural.

Mission accomplished.

Gilbert looked back at Lovina, inwardly chuckling to see that she was staring at him in frazzled shock, her brown locks slightly mussed, and her cheeks endearingly red. Totally fuckable.

He gave her a wink. "My house. Tonight at eight. Don't be late."

She just continued to stare at him, her jaw completely slack.

He glanced back at Antonio, and chuckled slightly to see that his disbelieving stare was directed at him.

He knew that this whole thing was far from over, and due to the oblivious nature of the Spaniard, it would definitely be a while.

But that ought to give Antonio the proper push that needs.

After giving his friend a casual pat on the shoulder, Gilbert sauntered away from the scene. A beer sounded nice. And he would be awaiting Lovina's arrival in a few hours.

This really was none of his business.

But then again, he was fucking Prussia.

And he was awesome.

Therefore, all other arguments were invalid.